Sunday, 31 December 2006

Hospital Urban Legend

The past week has been quite peaceful, a bit too much, so the gynaecology department next to us closed and we fused together. Nice to have an other discipline around, new nurses = new stories. Gynaecology is definitely not my cup of tea, to my opinion it's very hard to work there, a lot of cancer, a lot of blood. But then the gyne-nurses think the same about us, they 're scared to death with neurosurgery. So for the past week, we sat down together, eating our lunch at the same table every day. We had a talk about reconstructing breasts after removal because of breast cancer. Doctors can do quite a nice job on boobies nowadays. They take a part of your bum or your belly and then make a boob out of it. It looks very natural, being a part of your own tissue material, and your body doesn't reject it. The nipple is made out of a bit of soft skin from your genitals and a tattoo makes the finishing touch. It's a good thing, this evolution, because breast cancer is moving forward, unfortunately a lot of woman are victims to it nowadays.
So we started talking about doctors (nurses are obliged to gossip about doctors, that's a hospital fact you cannot change). Now there was a gynaecologist that was very skillful in reconstruction breasts after cancer. A lot of women went to him for having their boobs fixed, he did a very good job on that. A few weeks after the operation, you have to come back to the hospital, to have a check-up and to have the stitches removed by the doctor. The legend goes, before removing the stitches, this doctor had the habit of kissing the woman's breasts, one kiss on each. He said: 'they 're my boobies as long as the stitches are still in them. Afterwards, they're yours, hon!'.
We just couldn't stop laughing about that, I really do not believe it. I said: ' So in fact, this doc is kissing a part of your bum and genitals!' (me making a logical deduction). Ooh, tears rolling down our faces from laughter, such a pity this doc is retired, we can't verify the story, we simply can't.
I said: ' well, if a doctor is ever going to kiss my boobies, he'll have a blue and broken nose to remember me by, the maniac !'
Shouldn't have said that, I really shouldn't. Clever colleague said:'My god Heidi, are your boobs that firm, so you can knock a doctor under the table with them!'
Well tah, just you have a look at the picture, dear, these babies are mine, all mine and natural...

No comments: